Proper Support System

One of the most critical things I learned as an adult was how the proper support system is needed.  Sometimes you encounter things in your life that your not quite sure how to deal with, or you just want an opinion of someone else credible.  It's important to have this support system because not all of the time will you feel you can make the best judgement call.  The support system usually ranges from a real good friend, a spouse, or close relatives.  Either way make sure that your support system is best for you.  A lot of time we tend to have people that we believe should be in our support system that really shouldn't be.  Ladies you shouldn't take advice from another woman about what you should do with your man, if her herself is having man problems or has been known to have countless man problems.  Also fellas we should not be taking advice from other men about how we should raise our sons if you know that he himself is not around to support his own children.  When we tend to take advice from people that has a hard time holding it together in their own life, we set ourselves up to be no better off than those people.  We need to make sure that the information we receive from our support system is credible and have dealt with those type of situations before.  Sometimes a lot of us tend to look at people that have bad situations and try to do the opposite of what they do to try to balance it out.  However that doesn't always work, every situation is unique to each person because of the things that lead to that situation.  So we need to make sure if we are a part of someones support system we give them solid advice that they could use, not just a "This is what I would do" advice.  I think it's important that we teach our children that it's OK to get advice from people, but make sure that you thoroughly think their advice through before applying it.  The world is filled with a bunch of younger people that are in terrible situations in their life due to listening to someone elses opinion or advice on doing something.  We have to make sure that our children know that it's OK to come to us as their support system, especially since we have their best interest at heart.  Point is make sure that the people you have in your support system is worth giving you advice, because the wrong advice could change your life.

Helping Others

Do you ever get that nagging feeling that somethings missing? Many people find that helping others by volunteering your time, or money is a great way to give life meaning. Helping others brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You begin to feel more connected to yourself and to others. In fact, research shows that those who show a real unselfish social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health.
There are many ways to help others. One of the best places to start is in your own community. Look up some of the local charitable organizations in your area and see how you can be of service. If there are any elderly people in your area offer to assist them in any way. Possibly doing some yard work for them or simply running errands can be a tremendous benefit for them.
Helping out is a great way to make new friends, too. Once people know they can trust you, they're more likely to help you out in return. Even in a bad mood, you will probably feel better after helping others.
Creating a balanced lifestyle that includes service to others can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us. Whenever possible I feel its beneficial to assist others. It doesn't take very much on our part and could quite possibly be the difference in someone's life. Lets not miss an opportunity to better the entire world by doing our part to help others.

A smokers choice

A year an estimated 17,000 people die from AIDS, and another 75,766 people died from Alcohol related injuries.  That's a total of 92,000 people a year which still does not exceed the number of deaths from Cigarettes which is a whopping 443,000 people in the U.S has died from smoking cigarettes.  After seeing the comparisons in these numbers I had to ask myself, Why do the still allow cigarettes to be sold legally?  It appears to me that the country is more concerned with making money than it is protecting people from such a terrible living.  So many get addicted to cigarettes and so much money on this addiction it's ridiculous.  What makes things worst is that cigarettes has the most addictive ingredient in the world nicotine.  Since we all know what it does and how it does it, is it wrong for people to want to market against it.  We know and met so many people in our lives that smoke, and most of us that don't always asks why.  It's hard for me to understand how people know what cigarettes do to your body, but still continue to purchase them.  I grew up in a home as a kid that was always around cigarette smokers, to the point where my clothes would smell like cigarette smoke when I went to school.  It's funny how your mindset changes when you realize something that you been around almost all your life is really bad for you.  Right now I tell anyone I see smoking cigarettes that they shouldn't be smoking them, just so that I know that I gave it a shot to let someone know about the dangers of smoking.  I think one of the biggest things we can do as people is to help our younger generations avoid smoking cigarettes.  I've read somewhere that they did a study on how cigarette companies purposely promote cigarettes more in urban communities, because they feel like minorities are their biggest consumers.  Is it fair that these companies get to promote and highly addictive and dangerous product in stores low enough for any kid to see?  In some cases they go as far is to put the promotions on walls near the candy sections, and this is all done to promote to a younger age.  They promote to the younger generation because they realize it's so addictive that if they can get someone to start smoking as a teen, then they can keep them as adults.  At the rate people are dying from cigarettes it's important that we teach younger generations to stay away, even if it causes us to have to promote cigarette awareness at schools.  It's funny how we run anti sex and safer sex campaigns to help young people avoid catching AIDS and all type of commercial for people to avoid drinking and driving but not many to stop smoking cigarettes.   Whether you smoke or know someone who smokes, please find help because the you do not want to be a statistic to something that is only a promotion of death.

Attitude

Attitudes are the established ways of responding to people and situations that we have learned based on the beliefs, values, and assumptions we hold. Our attitude is what drives our behavior. Your body language is determined by your mental attitude as well. Your attitude sends a clear message to others about what type of mood you are in. When our attitude is good, our body language will reflect that causing us to smile more and look at situations positively. Almost always you have a choice on what attitude to adopt. There is nothing in a normal work situation that dictates that you must act in one way or another. If you feel angry about something that happen, for instance, that's how you choose to feel. Nothing in the actual event itself makes it absolutely necessary for you to feel that way. It is your choice, and since you do have a choice most of the time you will be better off if you choose to react in a positive rather than negative way.
Author Charles Swindoll wrote "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is… more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do…The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Very strong words indeed.
We cannot control the things that happen to us in life, but we can control our attitude. Lets continue to have a good attitude, those attributes will rub off on others and set a positive example for children.

Understanding our children

The other day I spoke with a fellow co-worker about his son and how his son gets very suspicious when he says that he will check on him at a pool party.  I explained to him that most teens only hide something for one reason and that's usually because they are doing something they are not supposed to be doing.  My first assumption since he's a teenage boy, is that he was going to have alcohol at the party and didn't want his father to know.  When I told him about this, his first initial reaction was "No Way".  I explained to him that just because he doesn't believe that his son would do that, it doesn't mean that he won't.  Most teens today are pressured by undeniable peer pressure and is willing to try anything to be accepted by their peers.  The things that a teen would do to prove to their peers that they could be cool or hip is the one driving force in most teens today.  The thing that I didn't understand is how he himself was once a teenage boy and did similar things when  he was his age.  It's hard for me to imagine that someone could not recognize what the signs are from a kid that is hiding something, when you yourself have been there.  I heard of a story where a high school student called her teacher out of her name, and when the teacher confronted the parents about the derogatory words their child was using the teacher was told "You shouldn't take it personally."  As a parent you should not accept your child speaking like that to anybody let along a teacher or an elder.  Parents we need to not be so naive about our children and what they do when we're not around.  Sometimes the best thing to do is put yourself in their shoes and see it from their point of view.  Ask yourself "When I was their age would I do that?"  Some of the time you may not be able to see it from their point of view, but most of the time you have been in that exact situation.  It's important that we let our children know that they can speak to us about anything no matter what it's about.  Most people are afraid to be open with their parents or their peers because of the response they feel they will get from the person they are being open with.  Be sure to not judge them when they come to you being open.  When we yell at our kids or treat them as if what they told us in a negative way, they tend to shut down.  When we hear out what they have to say, we need to try to be understanding on what they say.  Let's explain to them our reasoning for wanting them to be open and honest about everything.  The better we work on our communication with our children at a young age the better they will be able to be open and communicate with us.  This lesson isn't just about to help parents have a open communication relationship with their children, but it help when you get older to have a open communication relationship with your peers and spouses.  Communication is one of the biggest issues in personal relationships today, so it's important that we prepare our children for these things at a young age.  Parents teach your kids to be able to speak to you about anything, talk to them and allow them to feel comfortable with expressing themselves to you.

Men showing emotions

Men who show emotion?...how are they usually portrayed? They are soft, insecure, babies, and the list goes on. But the fact is men who show emotions or cry publicly are seen as losers. Are they?
The perceptions we have of men who cry or show emotion publicly are often times culturally driven. Some cultures simply do not accept men who cry or show emotions. Growing up where I'm from it was definitely not accepted for a man to cry unless someone died. On one rare occasion that I was spending a weekend with my father, I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my ankle. I can still remember my dad telling me to walk on it and not to cry. I guess from that point on It was engrained in me that as a man I was not to cry under any circumstances. It was not until much later when my daughter was born, that I was actually able to cry in front of others.
Is this attitude shared across the world? Clearly it isn't. For some reason in this country we believe that men who show emotions are weak. It is however, the opposite, those men who actually show emotions are strong men. Women will tell you that if a man is strong enough to show his emotions publicly they will respect him even more. It does not benefit a person to have emotions stored up and not have the boldness to express them. That is what we do when we degrade a guy for crying or showing emotion, we are stifling his emotional and psychological development.
The media plays a part in pushing this culture of allowing men who show emotions to feel  like wimps. They support having men always exude a presence of power. It is always shown in a negative light or as a weakness whenever a man shows true genuine emotion in public.
Times have changed since I was growing up. I have been more open with my child and I have allowed him to show emotion and express himself. I also let him know that it's not OK to cry about everything that is disappointing, but he must be able to express himself by crying at certain times. I hope this culture continues to mature and men who show emotions will be seen as normal. It won't be that he is a man touching his feminine side, No he will just be a man.

Fathers day aftermath

William Faulkner
Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.


This past weekend I was able to enjoy myself with friends and family.  I got to get away from the harsh reality of life to enjoy time with people that makes me smile.  The thing that I took in most this past weekend was communicating and watching other fathers with their kids and hearing about their stories.  I got a chance to actually have a deep conversation with my father, and the one thing I came away with is "What would I had been like if he actually raised me?" I'm not sure if I would have ended up better or worst, so it helped me realize that we all become the people we are through trials and tribulation.  It's the things that we go through in life that set us apart from everyone else.  We should never forget the things he have been through in life, however adapt to it and make it a point in which you learn from.  The more we learn as people the more educated we become in situations.  When I say educated I'm not just talking about book smart, but I'm speaking the process of learning.  There was a lot of fathers that I heard from this weekend that was upset that they couldn't spend time with their children, while others didn't even care.  My advise to the fathers that couldn't see their children were, "What could you do to better that situation so next time it does not happen"?  And to the fathers that don't care, I can only ask Why?    We need to learn as people that we can't change every situation, but we can change the way we deal with them on a regular basis.  When speaking to my father this past weekend I learned that although we share alot of the same characteristics in our personality, we have a lot of different ones as well.  The more I spoke with him the more I understood the problem with the average black man.  Most of us black men grow up with a certain aggression that isn't easily matched, and could cause more harm than good if not harnessed.  I realized that I grew up with alot of that aggression, but was able to shape it in my own way.  There isn't alot of people that are able to critique themselves from the outside in, but we need to start.  As people we need to be willing to meet our personal issues head on, and recognize that we do have characteristic problems in ourselves.  Until we start to resolve the problems in ourselves, we could never truly grow as people.  Try to find ways to recognize your characteristic flaws and work on them.  Nobody is perfect in the world, but there is no harm in trying to be.

Humility

The dictionary defines humility as modesty, lacking pretence, not believing that you are superior to others. Another definition is simply "the quality or condition of being humble." We often confuse humility with being timid. Humility is not about degrading ourselves its all about maintaining our pride in who we are and our achievements. But the key is to do that without arrogance. That excessive arrogant pride is what can derail us from reaching our goals. It's about that quiet confidence that is missing from today's self promoting society. It's about being content to let others discover the layers of our talents without having to boast about them. It's a lack of arrogance, not a lack of aggressiveness in the pursuit of achievement.
It has been shown that some of the most successful CEO's all have one very important quality in common and that is humility. These leaders are a mix of intense professional will and extreme personal humility. They will create superb results but shun public adulation, and are never boastful. That is so important to not only being able to perform well but also to be humble enough to share credit with others.
An interesting dichotomy is that, often, the higher people rise, the more they have accomplished, the higher the humility index. Those who achieve the most brag the least, and the more secure they are in themselves, the more humble they are. It's comforting to know that its the more humble people that are the most successful. It may not be money and fame that you are blessed with but humility will bring you success in life.

Father's Day

When I began to think about writing this blog it was very difficult for me to figure out what to say. My relationship with my dad wasn't very close growing up and he wasn't around all that much. We would see each other on select holidays but not that day in and day out interaction that I desired so much. I have always felt like I missed out on a lot not having my father consistently in my life, and I made a vow that if and when I had children they wouldn't have that void of a missing father. My grandmother was strapped with the burden of raising a man and she did it without flinching and I thank her everyday for that. So, in writing this about father's day I wanted to keep in mind some of the great fathers I have met in my life and the sacrifices they have made to be good fathers.
As I have become a father myself I have experienced how much effort it takes to be a good father. My father in law has taught me so much about being a great husband which translates to being a great father also. He taught how to have a good perception on things, he always says "it's usually not serious enough to get mad about" and ninety percent of the time he is right the situation really isn't that serious. One of my best friends is a single dad and shows the sacrifice needed to be a good father. He is there for his daughter at every practice, or event she has, he makes sure she is picked up from school each day, and all the while holds down a job and attends college. I am inspired each day by these great men and countless others that each day strive to be positive role models for kids to look up too.
Here at Dajs Daily we want to support parents, and all people to be better role models for the generation coming after us. We want to highlight all those that are doing great things in their everyday lives that are inspiring. Please send us any Fathers that you would like to have featured on our page on Fathers Day this Sunday. Send us some information about the person and what inspires you about them at dajsinc@gmail.com.

Dead but still relevant

"I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world."
— Tupac Shakur

There's been a lot of rap artist that have come and go, but none has ever or in my opinion will ever leave the biggest impact as Tupac Shakur.  On this day he was born and probably from that moment in his life he knew that his life would make an impact.  A lot of people are not aware of the actual impact the man has made in not only the music world, but in people lives.  Although he was most notarized for his so call gangsta rap lyrics and shots of violence, he was also an inspirational person.  Most people would say he could have been hypocritical, but I believe it was more about a man speaking his mind on what he see and what's on his mind.  If you analyze a lot of his music will notice that he's explaining the struggles of urban America.  There was a lot of his songs that I used to listen to gain inspiration such as "Keep ya head up".  That song would always inspire to keep going even when things didn't look good, so I kept pushing.  If you are a fan of Tupac you had you favorites that inspired you as well, not to mention all of the songs he had that just made you feel good when you listened to it.  To this date he has one of the most sold albums of all time which has sold close to 10 million copies and the lyrics from that album are still used by artist to this day. It's crazy to see how much of an impact he still has on the music industry right now.  I was just watching the Lil Wayne Unplugged segment on MTV this past weekend and he did almost a full word for word verse of Tupac "Hail Mary".  Lil Wayne self proclaims he's the best rapper alive, he has even stated the words in a song, "the best rapper alive, since the best rapper died".  Not to say that his words are the say all end all, but it's inspiring to see that a man that was only speaking his mind made such an impact on an icon in American Pop culture.  The inspiration that Tupac gave to a lot of people can never be taken away, and a lot of people not just musicians will say that Tupac influenced a lot in their life.  Whether we are willing to admit it or not, a lot of us black men today used Tupac as a raw example of what it was like to be a young black man in the media in the 90's.  They found ways to blame a lot of what young black people were doing back then on him by saying he was influencing us to do wrong.  When in all actuality it was something that was going on in most of our neighborhoods anyway.  This is a strong example on how media can effect the way you are portrayed and represented.  So in conclusion we wanted to say Thank You to Tupac Shakur for being  a big influence in what we do here at DAJS Daily in speaking our minds and influencing others to do so as well.  Also we want to say Happy 40th Birthday and your words will be truly missed.

One way love

Hardly any other thing can bring up both extremes at the same time like love. It can be the source of immense pleasure or acute pain. Reciprocation can make the lover feel like the luckiest person in the world while non-reciprocation could be the source of all miseries. True love does not ask for anything in return. Love gives freely, but if that love is not returned it really hurts.
It is very difficult accepting the fact that your love is neither wanted nor reciprocated. It can be even worse if you have to deal with that person. If you happen to work or go to school with that person it can be especially difficult to curve those feelings of love. The thing that makes it so difficult is the fact that love is indeed blind, and gives you no choice. You really can't decide who you fall in love with, it just happens. A lot of times before you even know that your love is not going to be reciprocated it's too late and you are already in love. A lot of times people hang on to these types of relationships in hopes that the partner will change. They see the potential in their partner and of course, they REALLY like this person. So they think that because they like them so much it is going to miraculously translate into them reciprocating the same intense feelings. They really believe they can change the person's feelings, but that isn't usually the outcome. If your getting the feeling that your partner isn't into you as much as you are into them, you are probably right its best to trust your gut.

One sided love can be especially dangerous. One of the persons, who is not in love, might take advantage of the one who is madly in love. Worst part of it is that while exploiting the partner, they never feel guilty. Usually it is finance or physical advantages that are the motivators in such cases. It could be too late by the time the victim realizes that there has been a serious breach of trust.
Getting over the one way relationship is essential but how do you do it is the million dollar question. One of the best ways is to simply put the love out of your mind. Stop thinking about the love, by staying busy, keeping your mind on other things. Focus on bettering yourself, do some things that you haven't been able to do because you have been focusing your attention on that other person. Wallowing in self pity will not help the situation at all, keep believing in your own ability that's the best and surest way to get over those feelings of rejection.

Mental Toughness

Sometimes the person with the most muscles isn't always the strongest person.  A lot of the time it's the people that have strong mental strength that are the strongest.  Of course with physical strength you can take on tough physical tasks that may arise.  But the best strength is always going to be mental strength, because of what can be done with it.  Most people do not grow up in perfect homes and has to deal with some sort of adversity that others never have to.  It's mental strength that allows those people to triumph through it all.  I know a lot of people that spend time complaining about what they didn't have as a child and how that effects them as an adult.  I try to explain to those people that life is always what you make of it, don't waste time worrying about what you didn't have when you could be taking this time to better yourself.  A lot of us have all had something tragic or of large significance happen to us, but it was mental strength that allowed a lot of us to prevail.  Sometimes we as people want to give up when times get hard and some of us do, but we have to always remember that mental toughness will always pull you out of hard times.  Let's start conditioning our minds to push through hard times, since we all know that sooner or later that the hard times will come.  So many people stress off going to work because they are tired of doing their job, or just tired of going into the place that occupies most of their time.  But did you know that most people that have heart attacks, have them on Mondays before going to work?  It's crazy how people could be so mentally turned off by what they do for a living that their heart gives out on them before they go to do it.  One of the best ways to maintain mental strength is to always focus on whats most important.  We tend to lose sight on what we want in life the most and give up or not work as hard because it slips from our views.  We have to realize that never losing focus on your dreams and aspirations will keep your mind strong.  Also it's important that we realize that times will get tough.  Some people feel like life would never come crashing down on them all at once, but the reality is it may happen more often then not.  But once again it's being tough mentally that helps you push through those tough times.  One thing we need to keep in mind as well is that, you can't always have mental toughness.  Mental toughness needs to be worked out just like your muscles, a few things you can try to work it out are Focusing, Visualizing, Coaching yourself, and most important motivating yourself.  When you become mentally strong you will find that it's not so hard to reach your dreams and goals, so start working on becoming as strong mentally as you can physically.

Exercise, not just for the body...

Exercise is not only good for the body,  its good for the mind. People suffering from depression and/or anxiety in particular seemed to respond well to exercise. Research has shown that 83% of mental ill people found that exercise put them in a better mood. While exercise is not a cure for mental health problems, it certainly can be used to help a person feel better. The obvious reasons a person feels better after exercise is the increase in self-esteem, and better physical health, but the hidden benefit that is just as important is the distraction from life's problems. It's healthy to take that time to just forget about other issues going on and focus on a strong workout. You will probably be able to deal with whatever issues were on your mind a lot easier after a vigorous exercise routine.
Men, we need to especially make sure we are exercising regularly. There are many health risks for being overweight and out of shape. It is imperative that we are doing some sort of exercise to increase our chances of fighting off high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and other problems that arise strictly from a poor diet and lack of exercise. Working out also gives you the added bonus of having a better body image. When a person feels good about the way they look, they often feel good about themselves as a person. High self esteem can lead to more healthy and positive thinking. 
Exercise has shown to be a valuable tool to enhance mood. It has many benefits from increased self esteem, to increased sexual drive. The health benefits are great and the overall feeling of accomplishment is awesome as well. It is recommended that as adults we get at least 30 minutes of some type of exercise per day,  but if you only have 20 minutes make that twenty minutes count. Time will vary for all, but as the Nike slogan goes "Just Do It".

Single Fathers Step up

Single dads are becoming more common these days. Did you know that since 1980 the number of single dads in the US has doubled to nearly 1.6 million? Single dads are growing 6 percent a year-that's double the rate for single moms. That means almost 15 percent of us men are running a dad-only household. Being a single dad is a tough and challenging position to be in. Its important to maintain a positive attitude and not let the pressure bother you. The times that you are with your kids, make sure that you make time to get to know each other.  Single dads are sometimes looked down upon since some people believe that fathers cannot show the same love and affection as mothers, which isn't always the case.  As a single father it's important that you try extra hard to break that stigma of over aggressive fathers since tough love isn't the only solution.  We recently read an article about All-Star basketball star Dwayne Wade in which he spoke about his road to being a successful single parent.  He went on to explain how despite all of his success he still found it hard to be away from his children.  Dwayne Wade said that it was important that he be a constant in his 2 sons lives because he himself knew the difficulties of being a boy growing up with just a woman.  There are certain things that a woman just cannot replace with a boys father.  He explained how he always wanted a man in his life to teach him basic things that fathers show their sons such as tying a tie and becoming a man.  These were things he felt was important that he showed his sons since he saw a similar situation building with his kids as he had with his father.  He thought that being there for our kids are most important in the minority community since we are the fathers that are lacking in our children's lives.

One of the best things I thought he mentioned in his article was the fact that it's important to have open and good relationships with our children's mothers because it's tough for children to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy have a rocky relationship.  Fathers we need to make sure that we keep a honest relationship with our children's mothers, because our children need that.  It's nothing more precious to them then to see their mother and father get along.  If anything this will at least allow our sons to understand the importance of respecting women in their lives.  As fathers there is no better feeling then seeing our children succeed and be happy.  Lets make sure that we do all we can to stay in our children's lives as positive role models.  Our children look up to their mothers and fathers first as inspiration, so be sure to inspire them every time you get a chance.

For Dwyane Wade's entire "Newsweek"article here is the link:  D Wade Interview

Taking Risks

Author Charles Swindoll conducted a survey of folks over 85 years-old and asked them if they could do life over, what would be some things they would do differently. The top three answers were: more time meditating and reflecting, taking more risks and spending time on eternal issues. It wasn’t making more money, being more famous or driving a nicer car. The most important things in life do not involve money or fame at all. The times that we will reflect on as we get older are the times where we didn't take a risk, such as applying for that certain job, or having the courage to speak to that certain girl.
I found it so interesting that the number one thing was to do more meditating and reflecting, followed closely by taking more risks. Well, Im sure some of us wished we had taken more risks up to this point, so we can definitely relate to this feeling. I know for me I definitely wished I had tried out for my high school basketball team. I have always wondered what could've been, had I just not made excuses and went for it. Its OK to look back and think about those things and be able to also move forward and take some more risks as we get older. Its scary to do this but its worth it when you put yourself out there and you accomplish something you may not have thought you could do. It's so easy to make excuses and sit on the sideline weather than really going after it. But where is the fun in that. Life is about pushing yourself beyond what you think is your limit, trying new things and experiences and embracing new challenges. If you want to get in better shape, go for it and make it happen!
Each day that passes by is gone forever. There is no time for regret of things that went unaccomplished, or dreams that faded away. The only thing is to move forward and make that next minute, and day be your best. Reflect on the great times in the past and the great ones coming in the future. Continue or start to take some calculated risks and live life to its fullest.

A Players Statement

Many people find sports entertainment as the catalyst of their lives.  With the NFL resuming it's lockout into almost 60 plus days, many people feel that the lost of a football season could cause more harm than good.  Ray Lewis a All-Pro linebacker from the Baltimore Ravens feels that the lost of an NFL season could cause more crime in the streets than normal.  He feels that people take time to watch these games and it keeps them occupied from doing unproductive things such as running the streets.  After the the interview was posted on the net many people found Rays quote to be flawed since he himself was once in a predicament where he was in court for a crime he didn't commit.  Many went on record to call him a thug and a gang banger so as if his opinion couldn't be valid.  The negative impact Ray took from making a simple statement on how he felt was rather odd to me.  I noticed from reading the responding comments that everyone commenting seemed to be taking his statement personal.  Why is it that so many people have negative things to say when a person simply speaks their opinion?  It seemed obvious after reading Rays statement that he believed what he was saying was true and if anyone is familiar with Ray Lewis they understand what I'm talking about.  Ray was very passionate when speaking about crime escalating due to lack of football on Sundays if the lockout occurs, but who could blame him.  Alot of people find it very positive to sit around and watch a full day of football as opposed to being wondering around trying to figure out what would be fun that day.  In conclusion it's always important that we never speak negative on people because of the opinions they have.  In this case a players opinion was taken a little out of context.  Sure the player has had legal troubles in the past and fought for his life to not go to prison, but that doesn't mean his opinion isn't valid.  However when thinking about his statement you have to find some validity to it especially since he himself has seen what bad intentions could lead to on any given day.  Lets keep positive always and never lose sight of that even if you are bored with nothing better to do.

Keeping the faith

A few years ago, there was a severe earthquake in Turkey.  Many buildings and homes were leveled.  Among the thousands of casualties, a 6-year-old boy named Armand was missing.  His father, knowing his son was at school the time the earthquake hit, raced to the collapsed structure.  Climbing to the top of the pile, Armand's father began to pull off the shattered mud bricks.  The sharp corners of the bricks sliced up his hands as he carried them down the pile and tossed them aside.  He continued to offload the bricks.  Every time people would try to stop him and tell him it's useless, he'd reply: "Join me or leave me alone!  Join me or leave me alone!"  Well after forty-seven hours of consecutive digging he heard a voice: "Daddy, is that you?"  Armand's father exploded with joy as he found his son along with his classmates huddled together under collapsed walls.  Armand kept telling his school companions: "I told you my daddy would come!  I told you my daddy would come!"  And indeed he came. What a truly inspiring account  of a father's love.
After reading this incredible story of perseverance and triumph, I began to think of the power of faith. How important it is to keep the faith when it seems as if the outcome will be bleak at best. Armand's father continued to dig through rubble with cut hands for forty seven continuous hours to save his son. I hope none of us ever have to experience this type of terror but we all can show this same type of relentless love for our children. We all can show them love by loving and having respect for their mother. Being there for them to talk to, and spending quality time.
 The power of faith is so important. There are so many things throughout our everyday lives that test our faith. Our job is not what we envisioned, or our relationship isn't going as well as we think it should, we still have to have faith that things will indeed improve. Continue to have that faith, even when times look bleak and watch your perseverance be rewarded.

Proper Sacrifice

"Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness."
Napoleon Hill

When fighting for the things that you love the most, sometimes sacrifice is required.  We can't always have the things we want without giving something up in return.  Most of the time when trying to accomplish a tall task you give up things that you feel are important.  If you ask any successful person they will tell you that they have lost sleep, money, energy, and even family all for the sole purpose of being great.  I've always found it hard to understand how someone could want greatness, but not be willing to give up something in order to get it.  Nothing in life is free, and sometimes we need to make those necessary sacrifices in order to pay for what we want most.  In the pursuit of doing something that you feel so strong about it's OK to sacrifice things that will not tarnish you character.  When you start to allow things such as integrity and self-respect you start to sacrifice yourself in the process.  It's always important that we remember not to lose ourselves in becoming great.  It's so easy to give up on our morals when trying to capture our dreams.  There are so many people that strives on losing a little sleep and dedicating the necessary time to achieve the things that are most important.  We need to make sure that we let our younger generations know that it is OK to lose somethings when reaching for the stars, just be sure that the lost is worth it.    Sometimes we allow people who are not in our shoes to dictate what we sacrifice, but we cannot allow that to happen.  Those are the times when we need to understand if it is necessary to sacrifice those negative influences in our lives.  Be sure that we never allow the opinion's from others to sway us from our dreams, because the sacrifice of our dreams is never one we want to lose.

Loyal to a Fault

The definition of loyal to a fault is "Taking loyalty to an extreme: generally causing more net harm then good." One of the traits I admire in others is loyalty. Being able to be loyal to someone, or something is a good character trait to have. Loyalty also can not and should not be a blind following of that which you have chosen to be loyal to. That is where LOYAL TO A FAULT comes into play. As adults we have to make our own decisions. There is no excuse to continue doing something that we know is wrong just because we feel we need to be loyal.

Jim Tressel the former head football coach at Ohio State University recently lost his job because he was loyal to a fault. Jim was privileged to some information that his star quarterback and four others on the team were involved in activity that was in violation of NCAA rules. As the head coach it is his duty to report this information to the proper authorities and let the situation play out how it may. Jim Tressel instead choose not to tell anyone about this information because in his words he was trying to "protect his players" from being suspended from school. Now, his explanation sounds like a plausible one. He didn't do what he knew was right because he didn't want the people involved to be punished. What Jim didn't understand is, his loyalty to them would end up causing more harm than good and not only are the players all suspended but he is out of a job, and most importantly his integrity has been called into question.
The thing to remember when being loyal to someone is to have theirs and your best interest at heart. Do not look to just be loyal but really make an effort to help the person you are being loyal to. Help that person be a better person, by letting them know when they are wrong on something and help them to correct their ways. Covering up for someone when you know it is wrong is doing a disservice to that person and to yourself.

What's Happiness to you?

As people how do we count happiness?  Is it by the money we make?  The cars we drive?  The places we live?  Or the people we know?  Depending on whom you ask, and when you ask them you will more than likely get a different answer each time.  So the question we need to ask ourselves is, what makes us most happy?  Growing up as a kid I always thought that having money would make me most happy of all, but after enjoying life with the people I love I find that it's not money for me.  The thing that makes me most happy is enjoying time with the people I care most about.  I realized that I could have all of the money in the world, but that would only make me rich not happy.  Is it that we as people worry so much on a daily basis about the money we will earn everyday that we forget to really appreciate being able to get it? 
Think about where your life would be if you didn't have a great family, or wonderful friends who uplift you when your down and find you when you are lost.  They say that you can measure the impact of a mans life by the people that he has influenced and touched, not by the size of his bank account when he dies.  There are many different people that feel that more money would lead to more happiness, but that isn't always true.  It's the things that make you smile and laugh and enjoy being alive that really brings true happiness.  It's important that we focus on ways to make ourselves happy and to help other people find happiness.  Sometimes it's hard to help other people find happiness if we cannot find happiness ourselves.  As a parent I look forward to the time I can see my child smile from being so happy and that’s what it's all about.  So whatever it is that you find true happiness in doing be sure that you do it with the people you love and make sure you enjoy all of it. 
We are all born to be happy and to help other people achieve happiness, that's why it makes us happy to make people smile.  Everyday we should make it a point to make someone we love smile or do something for them that you know would grant them happiness.  Let's not be selfish when it comes to making somebody happy.

Say what you mean

One of the hardest things in life to do is stick to your word. It seems like it would be easy enough, just simply don't make commitments that you can't keep, and always do what you say you will do. But we all know life is just not that simple. The important thing to remember is to make the best effort you possibly can and be honest. This is so important in relationships with other adults as well as our kids. We should not say things to our kids that we don't mean or aren't prepared to follow through with. If you need to leave the park in 10 minutes, tell your kids "we are leaving in 10 minutes" and when the ten minutes are up, its time to go! Don't allow them to badger, whine, or beg you into an additional 10 minutes. Also when the ten minutes are up make sure as the parent you are ready to leave at that time as well. So many times I've heard a parent say "we need to leave in 10 minutes" and 15 to 20 minutes later they are still chatting with a friend.
Following through is very important. If you tell a friend you are coming by or that you will meet them somewhere at a certain time do your best to follow through on that commitment. It shows that you have courtesy for others people's time by at least attempting to be prompt.
When life does get in the way and you are unable to follow though on something, make sure you be honest and let the other party know of the circumstances that have caused you to not be able to make it.  In the famous words of Tony Montoya in the movie "Scarface" "All I have in this world are my balls and my word, and I don't break them for nobody." Literally he is saying that he sticks to his word no matter what the circumstances, a very powerful quote.