Conflict Resoluton

Some of the best relationship advice I have received has been about conflict resolution. So many people are out looking for someone that they are compatible with but are not actually thinking about someone that has good conflict resolution skills. In a relationship there are going to be times were you disagree with each other on how to deal with an issue. It could be something small such as what to eat for dinner, to something big like what school your children should go to or where to vacation. The important thing is knowing how to work through conflicts without them growing into something harmful to the relationship. Whenever there are disagreements it's important to find a resolution. It is not healthy to suppress your anger, this leads to resentment and additional conflict. I have been a victim of allowing things to fester and then lashing out over something small when really I'm upset about something else that I failed to address properly. Many studies have been conducted that show a direct correlation between successful couples and how well they handle conflict.
When conflict does arrive it is best to give yourself time to think about how you feel and then calmly discuss how you feel with your partner. Too often we get into a conflict and start saying things out of anger and nothing gets resolved. Keep in mind that you are working towards a resolution, nobody has to win or lose its just a means to an end. Make sure to listen to the other person and really take in what they are saying. Do not just look for ways to discount what they are saying but listen and try to understand their point of view.  Most of us tend to get upset because of disagreements, when in essence it's not that serious to allow it to ruin your day.  A lot of us tend to allow a person to ruin our day simply because we get upset that we disagreed with someone.  Take time to think about what the issue really is and give yourself a chance to let it go.  Most arguments begin when people try to have a serious conversation and you are still upset.  This only leads to escalated voice and high blood pressure.  We all have a cool down point and something that allows us to think more clearly about what we are debating about.  When you find yourself in a debate and you realize that the other person is starting to get a little frustrated, it may be wise to speak to the person in a calm manner and let them know that they're getting upset and we should calm down.  Most of us don't realize when we start to get upset until it happens, and we only tend to stay upset because we assume that the other person is as well. Conflict resolution can be a good way for you and your partner to grow. If done properly both people learn something about each other and respect each other more for having the patience to work through issues together.