Breaking the stigma

Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. ~Jack Baker

Being a good father is such hard work, especially since a good father sacrifices his own needs in place of the needs of his children.  I believe the easiest thing a man can do is not be there for his children.  It's so easy to pickup and leave or to just not care all together, but it's the great fathers who take on the challenge and persevere through it all.  There are so many men that give up on being there for their children due to hardships in there relationship or problems in their lives.  I look at it as a challenge simply because you cannot put a price on great fathers.  A great father will stop at nothing to insure that their children does not go without.  It's so important that we as proud fathers do all we can to be there for our children, and it's just as important that us black fathers break the stigma of black fathers that are not there for their children.  Every new father to be I cross I try to let them know that it is up to them to break the stigma of dead beat dads and to be a positive influence on their children.  Our society won't change until positive men teach children to be positive people.  For Example if your son sees you being lazy and cheating on women then more than likely he will grow up to be the same way, or if your daughter sees it she will probably grow up not respecting herself as much.  As a father in this era we hold so much responsibility to keep our children from running astray, especially with TV playing such a pivotal role in most peoples children's lives. Black men are beginning to do better however. Besides myself I have four other close black male friends that are doing an outstanding job being fathers. Each of them do it in their own unique way but are all effective in teaching their children right from wrong. Most people reading this post know of one good black father. He could be your own father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a neighbor, or a co worker. Spread the word about these good black fathers. These are men who don't run the streets, but who get down and dirty changing diapers, preparing meals, picking kids up from daycare, helping with homework, giving baths, taking pressure off of mommy. They're not looking for a pat on the back, they're just doing what they are supposed to do. Next time, before you utter the words "black men are no good" add "except Nick or Bobby or Nathan or Larry or Quan - he's a good dad." It will go along way to change the stigma that there aren't any good black fathers around.

So if you are a father and your feeling like you can't handle it, remember that it's easy to give up and anybody can do it.  However the strong men, the real men hang in there to make sure that their children grow up with a strong male figure in their lives.