Building Your Reputation

Building a good reputation takes time. It is not something that is achieved overnight. It's the product of  persistent action over time. In order to achieve a good reputation you have to do things that affect people in a good way. Helping an elderly person carry groceries into their home, caring for a sick friend or family member, it doesn't have to be grand gestures, just a continuous string of good deeds will go a long way to building a good reputation. We all know people that have good reputations. Those guys that when you talk about them you always throw in the fact that this guy is a good person. He is the guy that you invite to parties, and to hang out and watch football on Sundays. He is also the guy you will go out of your way to help if he needs your help because you know he will be there for you. All this is possible because that guy has a built a good reputation. That's it, simply having a good reputation makes life so much easier.
One thing to understand about your rep is that it does stick with you. As you start out in life and go about building your reputation, people will label you with a good or bad rep. People with good reputations will have better business dealings, and personal dealings as well.. Not only does your rep affect your personal life but it can also affect your job. Employers are checking the background of individuals before hiring them. They will not hesitate to check your references and ask what type of person you are, and we wouldn't want our friends to have to lie to make us look better than we are. It doesn't matter what type of business you are in, whenever you are dealing with someone you always want to feel comfortable with that person, and if they have a well known reputation as a "shyster" then it is very likely that you would not feel comfortable doing business with this individual.
Your reputation is something that we all should take a lot of pride in. We should guard our rep with our life, because chances are your rep will stick with you for life. Its important for young adults and even children to know that building a good rep starts at a young age. Starting early and continuing throughout adulthood is how you build a stellar reputation.

Make Everyday a Friday!

"Faith is always in the present. Your attitude should be: Im excited to be alive at this moment. Im excited to be breathing today. Im excited about my family, my health, and my opportunities. I have plenty of reasons to be happy right now."
-Joel Osteen

Happiness is defined as inner peace and contentment. It is experienced when there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts. When we do something we love to do, or be around people we love to be with, when we win, or achieve a goal we become happy. Although it seems to be the result of positive events, truth is, happiness comes from the person itself, only triggered by positive events. The way we choose to look at things can have a positive or negative impact on our happiness. Always look at the bright side of things and never be too pessimistic. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend look at the positives that this breakup can bring, such as having more time to dedicate to friends or going to gym, or simply relaxing and getting to know yourself better, use this time for self discovery.  Make sure you do not wallow in self pity, your mind can easily fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself and that gets you nowhere. We all have setbacks and circumstances may change but do not let that change your mind. Keep your mind set on happiness. It is your choice to be happy. Make up your mind to enjoy this day, to have a blessed and prosperous day.
It's always important that we stay positive, the more positive you are the better the outcome of your day.  So often we approach our work weeks focused on making it to Friday.  Why is it that we look so forward to reaching Friday?  Is it just the appreciation of having an off day?  We should never only enjoy a day by knowing that we have a day off the next day.  We have to treat everyday as if the next day is our day off, lets make sure that we can appreciate everyday to the fullest.  They say time flies when your having fun, so that's why so many people come back to work Monday feeling like they didn't enjoy their weekends.  If we take the time to enjoy everyday like it's a Friday maybe our time wouldn't feel so wasted.  So many people finds reasons to be unhappy, when if they looked at it they could find so many reasons to be joyful.  I've been guilty of this as well, I have a habit of going into my birthday month with the idea that nothing will ruin those days at all.  After getting through that month and realizing that I went through everyday that month with a smile on my face brushing off any negative vibes I may have gotten,  I realized that if I can do it for 31 days out of a year, why couldn't I do it everyday.  Then I thought to myself that it is all mental.  Try to tell yourself everyday will be a great day and 9 out of 10 times it will be.  Positivity is all in our minds, and if you want to treat everyday like a Friday then you could do that with a smile on your face.

Think Before Speaking

In the bible it says that all men should be swift about hearing and slow about speaking. That is so true especially in these days. It is much more beneficial in relationships and in business to be slow to speak and swift not only to hear but to listen. How many of us stop and think before we speak? It is fair to say that most of us decide what point we want to get across and then we proceed to speaking. The thing to realize is that, the most important part of communication is the reaction you get from the person listening. If you tell somebody something very important but you don't say it in a way that the person can understand then you really haven't communicated successfully with that person. You want to make sure that you are communicating in the right tone and with the right words so that your information is received and heard. I recently watched a documentary about Welles Crowther a man who helped save the lives of close to twenty people during the 9/11 tragedy in 2001. One of the survivors who was helped explained that after the plane hit the South Tower she was laying on her back, severely burned thinking she was going to die and then she heard a voice that said "I found the stairs, follow me, only help the ones you can help." She said it was the way he said it, not what he said, but the way he said it that made her gather up the courage to get up and follow him to the stairs. Even in the face of such tragedy Welles was able to remain calm and speak in a matter that helped save lives. We should all take the time to think before we speak. Realizing what point we are trying to make while still focusing on the audience that is receiving the information. Make sure we are saying something that is encouraging and not intended to be hurtful.
This is important lesson to pass on to our youth. In this day and age with social media, 24 hour news, and instant access things you say or tweet or put on Facebook are displayed for the world to see. Words can be taken the wrong way and really offend someone without that being your intention at all. Make sure we stress to our children the need to think before we hit the send button.

Raising Kids in the 21st Century

As parents and soon to be parents we have to make decisions on how to raise our children and how to set them up to be successful in the future.  This past weekend I was speaking to a good friend of mines about baby names since he is soon going to be a father.  He told me about how he wants to name his son something uncommon yet he doesn't won't his sons name to come across as too ethnic.  He was concerned that when his son gets old enough that people would automatically categorize him as something he may not be just because of his name.  Will my son be able to get a job interview because of his name?  Will employers automatically disregard his applications because they know he is a minority because of his name?  It's a shame that still in this day and age as soon to be parents these are things we have to worry about.  Is our society still that shallow that they would discriminate on someone just because of their name?  There are situations such as these that makes it so difficult to become a parent.  It should be no problem for this man to name his son whatever he likes without having to worry about the backlash of what could happen  in the child's future.

There are also situations that we have to deal with as parents that are raising kids.  In this day and age we cannot give our kids the same life lessons that we learned as children because some of them do not apply and others simply could cause more problems than anything.  I asked myself the question of , How do I go about teaching my son to defend himself?  Back when we were growing up it was always if someone hits you, you hit them back.  You get in a fight one person wins and it's over with.  However these days it doesn't work that way.  These days even young teens are carrying guns to school with intent to use it on the first person that steps on their toes.  By teaching my son to fight back I risk the chance of him fighting someone who doesn't want to lose or be embarrassed so his next result would be to shoot someone.  This is the age we live in, so as fathers and parents what do we teach our children to do in these cases?  It comes down to teaching our children to deal with situations without losing their tempers.  We have to teach our children to be able to talk their problems out and be aware of the situations that they could be put in.  Nothing is worth losing your child over, so teach them how to work out situations instead of making bad ones arise.  As parents it's important that we understand that parenting isn't just about taking care of your child, it's about teaching them valuable life lessons that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives.  It's about making sure that they can take care of themselves in just about any situation.  Bottom line is when thinking about having kids and raising them think a little more about how their lives could turn out, not just about what they will do to your lives.    

Professionalism

If you want to be successful, you have to get used to being a professional. How you look, talk, write, act and work determines whether you are a professional or an amateur. Society does not emphasize the importance of professionalism, so people tend to believe that amateur work is normal. 
Schools graduate students who cannot read. You can miss 15% of the driving-test answers and still get a driver license. "Just getting by" is an attitude many people accept. But it is the attitude of amateurs? Professional people make sure to be on time for meetings, showing that they value other people's time. If you are going to be late make sure to contact the person you are meeting with to let them know you will be running late. Being a professional is a state of mind, you have to look beyond your immediate needs and think about the long term perception of yourself and your business. I was just speaking to a young black guy who had three job offers this past week, and in this job market that was outstanding. I asked him how he was able to achieve that feat and he said that there are jobs to be had, guys just aren't applying themselves. That was very interesting to hear and absolutely on the money. It takes more than just being qualified for a position, you have to also apply yourself. We need to do our homework on a company before showing up for the interview so that we know something about the company upon arrival for the interview. We also need to include a cover letter with your resume, make sure there aren't any typos, and the information is up to date. These are all aspects of being a professional. Not only do you do what is expected of you, but also going above and beyond those expectations. 
Being a professional is really about having and applying common sense. In these times common sense is becoming a rare commodity. Being able to actually use the common sense that you were taught goes a long way to help in our professionalism. Make sure to give others credit when they deserve credit, be quick to compliment others on a job well done. Show positive body language, and smile whenever possible. This is something that is not easy to accomplish but it's very much worth striving for.  Continue to show that positive and professional attitude and your business prospects will continue to grow.

Conflict Resoluton

Some of the best relationship advice I have received has been about conflict resolution. So many people are out looking for someone that they are compatible with but are not actually thinking about someone that has good conflict resolution skills. In a relationship there are going to be times were you disagree with each other on how to deal with an issue. It could be something small such as what to eat for dinner, to something big like what school your children should go to or where to vacation. The important thing is knowing how to work through conflicts without them growing into something harmful to the relationship. Whenever there are disagreements it's important to find a resolution. It is not healthy to suppress your anger, this leads to resentment and additional conflict. I have been a victim of allowing things to fester and then lashing out over something small when really I'm upset about something else that I failed to address properly. Many studies have been conducted that show a direct correlation between successful couples and how well they handle conflict.
When conflict does arrive it is best to give yourself time to think about how you feel and then calmly discuss how you feel with your partner. Too often we get into a conflict and start saying things out of anger and nothing gets resolved. Keep in mind that you are working towards a resolution, nobody has to win or lose its just a means to an end. Make sure to listen to the other person and really take in what they are saying. Do not just look for ways to discount what they are saying but listen and try to understand their point of view.  Most of us tend to get upset because of disagreements, when in essence it's not that serious to allow it to ruin your day.  A lot of us tend to allow a person to ruin our day simply because we get upset that we disagreed with someone.  Take time to think about what the issue really is and give yourself a chance to let it go.  Most arguments begin when people try to have a serious conversation and you are still upset.  This only leads to escalated voice and high blood pressure.  We all have a cool down point and something that allows us to think more clearly about what we are debating about.  When you find yourself in a debate and you realize that the other person is starting to get a little frustrated, it may be wise to speak to the person in a calm manner and let them know that they're getting upset and we should calm down.  Most of us don't realize when we start to get upset until it happens, and we only tend to stay upset because we assume that the other person is as well. Conflict resolution can be a good way for you and your partner to grow. If done properly both people learn something about each other and respect each other more for having the patience to work through issues together.

United Families

This past weekend I was able to attend a family reunion on for my girlfriends family.  While attending and dealing with the one of the people that put the event together I learned a few things.  I learned that no matter what you go through and no matter what the discrepancies you are still family.  Family is one of the most important things in life.  Its essential to everything you stand for as an adult and everything you went through as a child.  These are the people that helped shape who you are and continue to lead you into the person you are gonna be.  We all have child hood stories of things that are cousins did or that crazy Aunt who always got on your nerves at family functions.  These are important people in your life and the bond that you will have with these people for the rest of your life can never be broken.  There are so many people in the world that write family off because of a misunderstanding or a fallout that they might have had, but when it's all said and done you can never write off the people that share the same blood line as you.  There are times in our lives when we feel like we can go on without certain people in our family, but those people are still people that at one point you loved dearly and can never be forgotten or erased.  It's so important that we as parents and as leaders of a newer yet better generation enforce on the youth the importance of family.  We need to let them know that keeping in touch with your loved ones is essential.  They must understand that a families bond can never be broken and will forever live on as long as the bloodline continues.  There are a lot of youth these days that will turn on their own brother for a quick buck, or rob their own mother if that means they can get high one more time.  These are the people that we cannot let our children turn into.  The moment your children does not care about their families will be the same time they will fail to care about anyone else but themselves.  Sometimes it's OK to want to do you and to not care if nobody else cares what you do, but you should never lose sight of family.  Whether it's an Aunt on your dad side that you do not talk to much, or a cousin that you got into a fight with when you were 14, or just a family member that you do not keep up with very often, we need to make sure that our family understands how we feel about them.
I make it a point to tell my closest friends who I consider family how much they mean to me and how much I consider them as part of my family, without that no one can truly understand the category they fit in.  Generations ago our ancestors understood the importance of family, they kept strong bonds and made sure that all family was taken care of we as people need to get back to that so that our younger generation understands the importance of sticking together as family and keeping the bond of their bloodline tight.

Fatherhood reveals the real you

“Being a parent changed everything for me. Fatherhood has revealed me. It has given me great perspective and a true purpose in life.”

-Johnny Depp

Fatherhood does exactly that, it changes everything. It forces you to look at yourself and your life with a whole different purpose. As I think back to my first born coming into this world I remember this feeling rushing over me that life has just gotten "real". No longer was I just in charge of my own life but now I had the responsibility of another life to look after. It's a very scary and exciting feeling all at once. The first year as a father is even more revealing as you learn each day more and more about your child, his or her likes and dislikes as well as what they need and expect from you as a parent. These times are so special because this is when that critical bond is formed between you and your child. As they grow and develop their own personalities, you will see more of yourself in them. Their mannerisms and style of speech will be reflections of their parents. Johnny Depp goes on to say in the article “It didn’t change my life. It made my life, my kids are amazing. Even when they were babies I was learning from them." Isn't that inspiring to know that you can learn things from your children even as babies. When I meet other men that are expecting kids I always make a point to welcome them to the club. I believe that it is good to know that there are other fathers out there that are dedicated and can form a good support system for other fathers. 
The club of fatherhood is not just a club for men who have children, but for those men that want to make a positive impact on children's lives. We feel here at Dajs Daily that if fathers can break the stigma of not being around then we can spark a change in the world.  The impact our children make on our lives is life changing. As we have said before true fathers work out ways to be positive influences on their children. Having kids does indeed reveal the real you. Lets all remember just how wonderful and precious our time is with our kids and make each moment count. 

Invested Interest

School time is here once again and it's good to see how a lot of people I know are making it a point to take interest in their children's school affairs.  It seems these days that parents don't pay enough attention to what their children are involved in at their school.  A lot of people don't know the impact that it makes on a child when you show concern with what they are involved in at school.  Some of the things that's important to take part in is extra curricular activities.  Try to keep your child involved in activities that can keep their mind creative and inspirational.  A lot of the time parents tend not to encourage their children to do positives activities that will help influence them to use their time more productively.  We also have to make sure that take a personal interest to know who our children spend their time with.  Often children tend to run with the wrong crowd, but not really know how to recognize when they are associated with those type of people.  It's important that we help our children recognize people that are good for their growth and the people who are not.  We did a blog on Peer Pressure Monday, and that's one of the most important things we do not want our children to fall victim to.  When we take interest in our children and what they do at school, we as parents also are influencing our children to be open with us about what goes on.  We have all been there when we are at school or doing school we have been doing something that our parents would not agree with.  Lets make sure that our children are not afraid to be open about what goes on in their school lives.
So often teenagers commit suicide and the parents say they had no clue on why their child would do such a thing.  Generally the first question they ask the parent is "What type of kid was your child?"  Some parents are unable to answer that question completely due to them not knowing their child very well.  In this day in age we that consider ourselves great parents have to be sure we can answer that question from anyone.  If you do not know your own child how do you expect anyone else to know what your child is capable of?  The more we are involved with our children the more we can understand who they are,  thus promoting growth.  The longer your child takes to grow the longer it will take for them to reach their maximum potential.  Have you ever known someone that you found yourself saying that you need to grow up to often?  Most of the time those are those people that didn't get much encouragement to grow when they were younger.  We have to remember as parents that we are our children's biggest heroes and we have the power to influence them to be as great as they possibly can.  Take time this school year to be able to answer the question "Do I know my child?"

Peer Pressure

This week being back to school for a lot of children, there is a chance that your child will have to deal with peer pressure. As parents we have to equip our children with the tools to stand up to peer pressure. Our children's peers impact their life quite a bit. Just by spending time with certain individuals things rub off on our kids that they probably don't even realize. Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways. For example, a few kids in school might try to get your child to cut class with them, their so called friends might try to convince them to be mean to another person and never talk to that person, or a kid in the neighborhood might want you to shoplift with them. These are all things that our children may be faced with and they will have to make a quick decision that can impact them greatly. There are so many young men in jail right now because they made one wrong decision.
Why do our children give in to peer pressure? Some kids do it because they want to be liked. They simply do not want the other kids to make fun of them, if they choose not to go along with the crowd. Some kids are curious to do what others are doing, its the old "everybody is doing it" idea that can influence kids to abandon their better judgment. Its very tough on kids to know how to stand up for what is right in the face of ridicule.
Dealing with peer pressure is something we must talk to our children about. Help build inner strength within them to stand up for themselves. Teach them not to be a follower but to be a leader and  walk away from peer pressure. Teach them that resisting temptation to do what is bad is far more rewarding than doing what everybody else is doing. It can also be a huge help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say "no," too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It's great to have friends with values similar to yours who will back you up when you don't want to do something.  As parents we need to insure that our children understand that it's OK to be there own person and to not give into the temptation of following what others do.